At the moment it is hard for jenny and I to meet frequently or to establish a routine without raising suspicions at home.  I have to carefully judge the likely perceived credibilty of my excuses days in advance, unable to know what fragments my wife's intuition is picking up, or will pick up closer to the event. Each story requires a lightness of touch that is so difficult to maintain.  The lies feel hollow and easy to read.  At times there is an extreme tension inside me.

But if it is hard for me, then it must be far more painful for jenny.

All gifts seem to come at a price.